this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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