he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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