And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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