don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
home. puking in laundry basket.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
