he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i believe in u and ur pee
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
