I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
