it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
