I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
im on a boat
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