so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
