Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
