To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
