Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
