after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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