Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.