I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize