he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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