Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.

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(909): View more from California

that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream

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(502): View more from Kentucky

His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.

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