my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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