if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i tasted like america
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
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