i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
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