Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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