I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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