my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize