she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
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