I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
