Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
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i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
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There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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