he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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