I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
