at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
