listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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