Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
