Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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