Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
