His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
