I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
