Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
