YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
