this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
