you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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