one two three fourrrrnication!
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
