is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
