you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
