I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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