HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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