Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
