What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
