I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
farters have to be the big spoon...
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Boobs speak an international language.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
