4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
