haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
