and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
