allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
