ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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