I met the friendliest cop last night
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
