I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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