honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
