My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize