actually, I'm a sock model
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
