i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Can vaginas get frostbite?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
